stir crazy

I've been taking lots of pictures lately. It's just about the only way I'll remember the happy moments, because this past week was just saturated with the kind of explosive, miserable, suffocating memories that are impossible to forget. It has not been a Glorious Parenting Week.

I can not find a creative and gentle way to get my screaming, intractable, dimple-faced son to understand that when it's winter, we wear winter jackets, mittens and hats. We fight about it every day, sometimes many times a day. It is against human nature to withstand any of the irrational, primitive, witless rantings and ravings of a two-year-old child.

A six-year-old holding a scream festival in her bedroom because her sister won some awards and got chocolate is not captivating either. She doesn't win any points for whining about her Halloween costume for a week, then whining about each successive alteration to that costume while igniting a battle over who gets to draw the design on the pumpkin.

The big sister, self-appointed Sister-In-Chief, raises everyone's blood pressure with her pompous corrections and reprimands; but she is the most helpful and intuitive of the three. She can smooth things over quickly and move things along before the MomBomb explodes.

Really, they're all just reflections of me, since I'm intractable, whining, pompous, reprimanding... especially when we get to these last few days before their dad gets home. They do as I do, not as I say, and I know losing my patience does no good... but I'm not the kind of human who should be single-parenting.

Throw in The World's Most Incredibly Shedding Dog Who Eats Snotty Tissue and Steals Loaves of Bread...

this week in pictures

These pictures are from Wednesday's meeting of Sitnasuak Native Corporation, Saturday afternoon at AFN with Mom and my Gramma Nuz, and Saturday's dinner with my Dad & family at Chili's.

blurt, chew

I was listening to Bill O'Reilly on the radio today and he claimed that people naturally become more conservative as they grow older. That's a pretty big generalization, but I'm sure it's true for some people, though not all. I think people naturally become more true to who they really are as they grow older. I'm trying to become more accepting, more thoughtful and less blurt-ful. That's just the short list.

Today we loaded up and went to school for first-quarter conferences. A is for Awesomedaughters. The teachers for both of the girls said they're putting together more challenging material since that's obviously what they need at this point.

Boss' teacher had one small concern - she noticed that our child has a gross habit of needing to chew on things like pencils, paper, sleeves, whatever. She said the school's therapist might have some safe, appropriate chewable thing... hm, what? Just looked it up, here's what a doc said in reply to another mom-of-a-chewer: More than likely this behavior is indicative of tension/anxiety, and the chewing relaxes the tension. Arrange an evaluation with a clinical psychologist or other pediatric mental health professional.

!!!!

Check-up Day

So, today I had a PFT and a 6-minute-walk, and appointments with my pulmonologist and rheumatologist. My lungs are better than usual, but I didn't walk far. Since I've been doing 6MWT's at ANMC, I've walked as far as 1760 feet, and until today my shortest walk was 1700 feet. Today I only managed 1680 feet. It's not much of a big deal when I remember the other PH patients who post on the message boards about how high their oxygen is set, how they deal with their central-line or sub-q PH meds, or that they were able to walk 400 feet in 6 minutes. Or worse.
So I'm fine.
The only things my docs really brought up today were: that my back-scratching is worrisome to them (stress, stress) and that they want to reduce and even eliminate some of my medications. Unfortunately it's taking longer than 8 days this time around for the cardiology department to make the echo results available to the internal med department. Dorks.

SNOW! We've got sticking, sticky snowman-snow. It's cold here. The kids played outside for a couple of hours after school, sledding and carefully crafting a snowgirl. R smashed it at the first opportunity.

Chenathedog hit the jackpot, he gets to be inside. I'm learning again to tolerate dog hair EVERYWHERE and that dog-smell, yeah. He's learning to tolerate baths every other day, because he gets YummyChummies for however long it takes for me to try to get him to smell like apples.

I'm only up at midnight to get to that next ChemicalGulp and to find the price ranges for insulated patio curtains. AlapAHH.

Other random bits of things: Delaney's 2!! K's in the land of cheap sushi, Target opened, the first quarter ends for the girls on Friday, natives are flying by the thousands into Anchorage this week for AFN yay! , I got to visit with Melissa, and my friend Andrea from OIT-days found me!! Election-wise, I felt zero motivation to watch the last debate between McCain and Obama tonight. I do whatever I can to avoid confrontation... Watching would not have changed my choice of candidates anyway.

Time for the chemicals and a few more pages of Jane Eyre. And time to listen to Chena have a dream about eating.

Snow, plateau, BSNC

Yesterday K went to Florida. The girls went to school, and R and I went to Anchorage for my echocardiogram. Between here and Palmer, the snow was so heavy that I put the wipers on the highest setting. R was worried that he couldn't see anything outside. He always asks for updates on our location during long drives, and he loves getting back to "illa".

The echo went quickly and Misterguy didn't run around pushing and grabbing and opening things because he was too busy eating Skittles, one by one, saying "yummy" once in awhile.

I've evidently hit a plateau pressure-wise. The tech said it looks about the same as it did almost a year ago. From what doctors have said to me up to this point, I assume everyone (but me) will settle for a pressure between 50 and 60mmHg.
The American Heart Association phrases PH like this: The blood vessels that supply the lungs constrict and their walls thicken, so they can't carry as much blood. As in a kinked garden hose, pressure builds up [in the pulmonary arteries] and backs up. The heart works harder, trying to force the blood through. If the pressure is high enough, eventually the heart can't keep up, and less blood can circulate through the lungs to pick up oxygen. Patients then become tired, dizzy and short of breath. and lethargic [lazy] and frustrated [bitchy]
Normal pressure in the pulmonary arteries is 25 mmHg. So yeah, I don't want to settle for 55 right now. Maybe I'm just obsessing over numbers and not being thankful enough for my quality-of-life status - we'll see what the doctors have to say on the 15th.
Last Saturday the kids and I went into the city for Bering Straits Native Corporation's annual shareholders' meeting. We saw Dad and Peggy of course, sat with my sister and Delaney, Donny and Willow Olson and their boys, and said hi to many many people. New directors were elected to the board, financial and land information was reviewed, lunch was served, dancers danced and shareholders had time to air their thorough misunderstanding of how the system works during the comment period. BSNC has pulled in a record income this year and has compensated its key people accordingly, but some people don't get it. I admit, I don't get most of what happens with native corporations but I'd rather research something confusing before stepping up to a microphone to get cranky about it.
By the way, I did finally finish T's kuspuk, and one for her doll too :)

maverick maverick maverick

We can all relax now and get out of the Cringe-Ready Position. The debate is over. Governor Palin doesn't have to do that again!
Just before the debate tonight, a guy called in to Dan Fagan's radio show to share his struggle - watch, or not? He didn't want to witness a train wreck, but he didn't want to miss her making a comeback either. When K tuned the bunny-ears in as the debate started, I realized I didn't want the visual... so I settled into the mamavan and listened. Hey, she survived and didn't sound too snide, clueless or terrified! At the very least, she's hushed the loud cries for her to take a hike back to the governor's mansion and stay there.
It seems true what they say about VP debates not factoring into the actual election, though.
I personally think that Senator Biden's statements were backed up with more knowledge, substance and a general feeling of competence.
I have to say that "maverick" is my new least-favorite word. It's worn out. Stop saying it.

When we're feeling a little silly, we get R to repeat us saying things like, "Mister Gorbachev, TEAR DOWN THIS WALL" and "READ MY LIPS, NO NEW TAXES", "MISSION: ACCOMPLISHED", "I - AM NOTACROOK", and "I can see Russia from my house!"


When I took the girls berry-picking at Hatcher Pass, two Swedish reporters ambled by and struck up a conversation about Sarah Palin, Wasilla, rural vs. city life, and different types of blueberries... They took a bunch of pictures of us picking berries (here's their Wasilla slideshow). They thought it was kind of funny running into some Fagerstroms who don't really look very Swedish. At least they didn't say "You Filipino, ay?" - I'm pretty tired of that one.

near Hatcher Pass, my blueberry-picking girl